Bombshell (1933)

I’ve never seen a Jean Harlow film I didn’t enjoy, but I think Bombshell may very well be my favourite, and that surprises me a bit as I really enjoy the pairing of Harlow-Gable in some of her other major films. Perhaps the film’s success lies partly in the fact that it’s pre-code, and the perfectly timed performances mesh with a sparkling script that matches Harlow’s talents. Bombshell is a thinly disguised homage to Harlow and the cult of celebrity, yet at the same time, Harlow so seems to enjoy taking a sly dig at her own real-life career.

Bombshell begins with images of actress Lola Burns (Jean Harlow) and then clips of Harlow’s real-life films mingle with shots of adoring, fixated fans as they stare at the big screen. Quickly establishing the way in which Burns is seen on the big screen and how she is idolised by her fans, the film then cleverly leads into the way Lola Burns really lives.

The film opens with a very typical day-in-the-life of Lola Burns. It’s morning and she wakes up in her splendid mansion in a bedroom complete with frills, silk and feathers for that despotic harem-brothel look . Even though she’s a wealthy woman and surrounded by servants, Lola’s life is a mess. Both Lola’s drunken brother and her obnoxious gambler father sponge off her while trying to manage her career, and this translates to ensuring she stays in harness, earning the money they spend. To make matters worse, she’s surrounded by out-of-control servants who take advantage of her good natured generosity. Lola’s chaotic life even follows her to the studio, and the fact that everywhere she travels she’s accompanied by her three Old English Sheepdogs doesn’t exactly help matters. If she’s not tripping over dogs, she’s juggling interviews, fans and gossip-hungry reporters. And on top of all this, the studio’s publicist, E.J. “Space” Hanlon (Lee Tracy) exploits every angle of Lola’s personal life in order to keep her on the front page. There is literally nothing that Space wouldn’t sink to in order to get a headline. 

Merging real-life with fiction, Lola is filming Red Dust with Gable while she has a romance with slimy Hugo, the Marquis Di Pisa Di Pisa (Ivan Lebedeff). The Marquis, a notorious gigolo (also called a ”fungi,” a “rummage sale Romeo,” and a “glorified barber“) sponges off of vulnerable female Hollywood stars who are impressed with his foreign accent and his title. Of course, to the Marquis, Lola is a perfect target.

The plot follows Lola’s romance with the Marquis, her various whims (such as adopting a baby) and her romance with snotty poet Gifford Middleton (Franchot Tone). Meanwhile Space subverts snd sabotages Lola’s decisions about her life turning everything into a smutty headline for the studio. While the film keeps an even beat and a steady stream of comedy, some of the film’s funniest scenes occur when Lola meets blue-blood Gifford and his family. Tone’s romantic lines are priceless: “Your hair is like a field of silver daisies. I’d like to run barefoot through your hair!” Tone, of course, gained a great deal of notoriety a few years later in 1951 when he was in a fight with actor Tom Neal over the beautiful, self-destructive actress Barbara Payton.

The very lovely, luminous Jean Harlow is marvelous as the blonde Bombshell. She was just 22 when the film was released and tragically died just four years later in 1937. She’s so young in Bombshell and yet she delivers the performance of a confident, seasoned performer, never missing a beat, full of life, and simply perfect for this role.

This precode film includes a few hints at sex. For example, early in the film, Lola wonders what happened to the negligee she just gave to her maid, and the following exchange takes place:

Lola: I didn’t give you that for a negligee. That’s an evening wrap.

Loretta: I know Miss Burns, but the negligee you gave me got all tore up the night before last.

Lola: Your day off is sure brutal on your lingerie.

And in another scene, Lola is planning to adopt a baby but Space jumps to the wrong conclusion and thinks that Lola is about to be an unwed mother. Then horror of horrors, the dialogue leads Space to think that Lola doesn’t know who the father of her baby is. It’s a funny scene and of course the audience is on the joke, but when the Hays Code came into power, this exchange simply wouldn’t have happened.

Anyway, if you want to watch a Harlow film and don’t know where to start, Bombshell is a marvellous film and showcases Harlow at her glittering best. Directed by Victor Fleming.

Hold Your Man (1933)

“You know you wouldn’t be a bad-looking dame, if it wasn’t for your face.”

Set during the depression, the 1933 film Hold Your Man from director Sam Wood begins by focusing on the feet that pass by on a street corner. A wallet lands in the middle of the feet and two men begin to argue about who found it. This scene is the introduction to the film’s rogue with the “crooked smile,” Eddie Hall (Clark Gable).

On the lam from the police, ladies’ man and smooth-talking grifter, Eddie Hall meets wise-cracking, tough-as-nails, good-time-girl Ruby Adams (Jean Harlow). The sparks fly between these two major Hollywood stars as they verbally spar back-and-forth in Ruby’s apartment, and although they both try to come out on top from the exchange, it’s a draw. Eddie’s good looks and charm don’t get him far with this dame, and Ruby makes it clear that she’s not a sap to be taken advantage of. Inside Ruby’s apartment, Eddie catches sight of a photo from one of her male admirers, but then as he walks around, he sees a large collection of photos of men all signed with good wishes. The implication is clear: Ruby has been around. Eddie and Ruby meet once again at the Elite Club. Ruby is there on a date with the aim of getting some money for her pain and suffering. While she’s  obviously bored to tears by her date, Ruby comes to life when Eddie shows up masquerading as an old friend. The film’s best, witty scenes occur early in the film as the two main characters get to know each other.

The film sinks after the second half as the plot morphs into a maudlin tale of redemption. The script, written by Anita Loos, sparkles for the first half, but then the dialogue loses its pep and slides into the ordinary with the result that the film’s great first half was as funny as its second half was disappointing. Ruby’s image of the wise-cracking dame fades rapidly just as it seems she needed her claws the most, and the tale’s conclusion comes wrapped up tightly with a conventional, saccharine-sweet final scene.

Hold Your Man is one of six films made by Gable and Harlow, and it follows on the tail of Red Dust. While the first half of Hold Your Man matches Red Dust for entertainment value, the second half did not. This is not Harlow’s best by any means as she just doesn’t make a very good victim and she’s at her tenacious best when unleashed in a role that’s worthy of her.  Hold Your Man, by the way, is a pre-code film. The Hays code wasn’t enforced until 1934, but even so the redemptive ending and conversion by domesticity really smacks of someone trying to keep those censors happy.

The Big Job (1965)

“How many times do I have to tell you we’re not going to dynamite the wall. It’s a police station. They get funny about that sort of thing.”

Of course I’m not going straight.”

“I joined the police force for a bit of action.”

“What are you all of a sudden? Britain’s best dressed jailbird?”

“When a man has to stay in bed, that’s the time he really needs a woman, I think.”

“Won’t you get into trouble taking the sergeant’s trousers off?”

“”What nit would want to climb into a police station?”

“Anybody’d think you haven’t seen a harpoon gun before.”

“Go on, buzz off to bed.”

“We’ve far more serious things to worry about than suspicious incidents.”

“Don’t run away from her, you nit. Give in.”

 Crime certainly doesn’t pay, but at least it provides a few laughs in the British Comedy, The Big Job. Although the film’s box cover brags that “The CARRY ON gang star in a cracking comedy caper film,” the film isn’t as funny as the best of the Carry On films. Directed by Gerald Thomas (who directed the Carry On films) it does feature a few of the Carry On stars–most notably Sid James and Joan Sims. The Big Job (aka What a Carry On: The Big Job) is an amusing film, and it certainly takes the viewer on a pleasant nostalgic trip to the 60s days of film.

The film begins in 1950 with gang leader, George aka The Great Brain (Sid James) planning a bank robbery with his criminal pals. The gang consists of Frederick “Booky” Binns (Dick Emery), Timothy “Dipper” Day (Lance Percival), and Myrtle Robbins (Sylvia Syms), who’s also George’s moll. The plan is to knock off a small bank, but the heist is bungled from start to finish. Prior to his capture, George hides the loot inside of a tree located in the countryside. George, Frederick and Timothy are all captured and sentenced to 15 years.

15 years later, Myrtle is at the prison gates for a reunion, but the first order of business is to go get that money. While George does manage to relocate the tree, it’s now standing in the middle of a police station. Undeterred George decides to book everyone in to a boarding house that stands opposite the police station. Here, he reasons, since he will be able to see the tree, he can work out a way to break into the police station and get the loot.

Lonely widow Mildred Gamely (Joan Sims) owns the boarding house, and the gang members check into her home as Professor Hook, Dr. Line, Mr. Sinker. There are a couple of problems; lanky policeman, Harold (Jim Dale) also lives in the house, and Mildred sets her beady eyes on one of the male gang members.

Some of the comedy comes from the gang’s complete ineptness, but Sid James isn’t at his best here. We only get the signature chuckle a couple of times, and Sid as an inept crook isn’t as funny as most of his other, better roles which usually involve some sort of craftiness (Carry On Camping, Carry On Girls). Sylvia Syms doesn’t quite fit in the role of gang moll Myrtle. Although she dons a working class accent for the role, she doesn’t quite carry off the part, and it’s in the moments that she’s silent that she seems most out-of-place. During breakfasts around the landlady’s table for example, the rest of the gang pass themselves off as birdwatchers, and of course, given the gang members’ behaviour and mannerisms, that’s a ludicrous notion. But when Sylvia Syms sits at the table eating and minding her own business as the conversation rages around her, she makes a believable professor’s wife. It’s just that all three professors are obviously not who they say they are. I kept imagining Carry On’s Barbara Windsor in the role of Myrtle–a bit tarty, cheeky and cockney–and it was a good fit.

Ultimately, Joan Sims steals the film as Myrtle Gamely. There’s one scene in her bedroom with “Prof Link” that displays this talented actress’s wide range. Watching the scene, it feels like being in the room as she coyly parries questions, hides her pleasure, and tries to act as though she isn’t being propositioned. The comedy here comes from the fact she really isn’t being propositioned but she thinks she is.

Another funny subplot involves the policemen’s choir led by the local Sgt (Deryck Guyler). He’s so engrossed in the choir, crime rages rampant outside of his very front door, and to him it’s just a big bother and a distraction from his main interest. He has the bureaucratic demeanor down pat.

For fans of British comedies from the 60s, this is a satisfying film–not wonderful, but it’s certainly a great pleasure to watch some many familiar faces again.

Blue Murder at St Trinian’s (1957)

 “This is a girls’ school. Men ain’t safe here.”

Blue Murder at St Trinian’s is the second film in the extremely popular St Trinian’s series. St Trinian’s is an all-girls school that is the bane of the local police force, the dread of the townspeople, and the thorn in the side of everyone at the Ministry of Education. The St Trinian’s films echo the theme of the original cartoons created by Ronald Searle, and chronicle the madness and mayhem of the totally out-of-control girls’ school. While the prim and proper students of elite boarding schools learn such valuable social skills as deportment and dancing, the girls of St Trinian’s learn how to make explosives and bootleg gin. If you are interested in the St. Trinian’s films, and haven’t seen any yet, then I recommend beginning with The Belles of St Trinian’s and watching the films in the order they were made:

The Belles of St Trinian’s (1954)
Blue Murder at St Trinian’s (1957)
The Pure Hell of St Trinian’s (1960)
The Great St Trinian’s Train Robbery (1966)

Blue Murder at St Trinian’s begins with Miss Fritton (Alastair Sim) in prison. Meanwhile, the school’s resident fixer–Flash Harry (George Cole) is in control. Flash Harry has a number of business interests with the school–illegal gin, bookmaker for the 200 plus pupils, and now he also runs the St Trinian’s marriage bureau. Compiling albums of sexy photos featuring shapely 6th form St Trinian’s girls, Flash Harry then treks the globe to meet wealthy clients and arrange meetings. These arranged marriages work well for the girls as the unsuspecting foreigners have no clue about St Trinian’s stinky reputation, and so wealthy European males imagine that they are marrying the cream of delicate British womanhood while in reality, the wealthy families of Europe are slowly being seeded with delinquents.

Flash Harry’s latest customer is a wealthy Arab prince. The prince, while poring over photos of the long-legged lovelies, cannot decide which flower of British maidenhood to select as his bride, so he convinces Flash to agree to bring the girls over so that he can see them in the flesh. But how to pay for the trip? Flash Harry has a brainstorm. There’s a UNESCO essay competition that will send the winning school on a goodwill tour of Europe with stops at Paris, Florence and Rome. It would be a perfect opportunity to get The Ministry of Education to finance the trip, but there’s just one drawback, there’s no way that St Trinian’s will ever win that competition fair and square. They’ll have to resort to other means….

Meanwhile, St Trinian’s is without a headmistress. It seems that Miss Fritton is inexplicably detained at a ‘resort,’ and so the Ministry of Education employs a Dame Maud Hackshaw–otherwise–known as ‘Kill ‘em or Cure ‘em Hackshaw’–to replace Miss Fritton. But battleaxe Dame Maud (Judith Furse), who runs a Borstal-type institution has to sail from Australia (no one in England is daft enough to take the job). In the meantime, a state of siege has taken place at St Trinian’s with troops surrounding the school to maintain some sort of order. The troops are supposed to hold the fort until the headmistress arrives, but “the fiends in human form” test even the British Army’s mettle.

Dame Maud may be a dragon, but even years of experience with the delinquents of Australia find her woefully unprepared for the Girls of St Trinian’s. Luckily, or unluckily depending on your perspective, one of the girl’s fathers, Joe Mangan (played by Lionel Jefferies), a notorious jewel thief, hides out in St Trinian’s, and he finds himself enlisted as the new headmistress. Soon Mangan is on his way to Europe in drag while Dame Hackshaw is suitably…errr…retired.

One thing about St Trinian’s films: you only ever see fourth form and sixth form St Trinian’s girls. The fourth form mirror the original image created by Searle, messy, disheveled beasties who use violence to achieve their ends–whereas the sixth form are leggy, shapely beauties who use their sexuality to get their way. But where is the fifth form–the in-between stage of transformation when the fourth begin to morph into the sixth? The fifth is glaringly absent. Wisely, the films absent the fifth form and leave that transformation to the imagination.

Many of the familiar characters from The Belles of St Trinian’s appear in this film–Ruby Gates (Joyce Grenfell) is still engaged to Sgt. Sammy, Miss Fritton (Alastair Sim) sadly makes only a very brief appearance, and Flash Harry (George Cole) is still the shiftless, much-loved spectre who haunts the school grounds. This film, however, also showcases Terry-Thomas as the fortune-hunting, slightly seedy, bankrupt Dreadnought bus company owner, Romney. Romney is somewhat daunted by the prospect of driving the girls across Europe, but since he’s faced Rommel and the “Japs in Burma,” Romney accepts the job. Terry-Thomas, who was stricken later with Parkinson’s disease, is such a marvelous comedian, and this role is perfect for him. Romney sniffs that Ruby may be an heiress, and the scenes of Romney’s crafty romancing of poor Ruby Gates are priceless. The indomitable St Trinian’s school trip across Europe is hilarious, and their antics including hijacking a Mozart festival, the hospitalization of several dozen French schoolgirls, and the tour-de-force is the “liquid massacre” that takes place in Rome. I think the St Trinian’s Girls could give British football fans a run for their money.

From director Frank Launder, Blue Murder at St Trinian’s is written Frank Launder and Sidney Gilliat.

Jolly Hockeysticks!!

The Belles of St Trinian’s (1954)

 “I’ve been lenient with her to the point of imbecility.”

“The natives have risen, old sport.”
“I propose to storm the barricades.”
“I thought hockey was a game, but with you girls it’s more like jungle warfare.”
“You’ve no idea what’s going on in the summerhouse. It’s practically an orgy.”
“I’ve never seen such an exhibition of savagery.”

The Belles of St Trinian’s is the first of four British comedy films centered on the infamous girls boarding school, St Trinian’s. Cartoonist Ronald Searle created the idea of St. Trinian’s, and this first film appeared in 1954. These immensely popular films quickly earned cult status, and they remain some of my all-time favourite comedy films. The films appeared in this order:

The Belles of St Trinian’s (1954)
Blue Murder at St Trinian’s (1957)
The Pure Hell of St Trinian’s (1960)
The Great St Trinian’s Train Robbery (1966)

There have been some cheesy knock-off St Trinian’s films over the years, but in my mind, these films don’t ‘count,’ so they are not included here.

St Trinian’s is the antithesis of the snotty, private school for ‘young ladies.’ We tend to think of British schoolgirls as demure, obedient and well behaved. Well leave that idea behind and enter the World of St Trinian’s and see a very different sort of intrepid British schoolgirl. Indeed as Miss Millicent Fritton (Alistair Sim in drag) is fond of saying:

“In other schools girls are sent out quite unprepared into a merciless world, but when our girls leave here, it is the merciless world which has to be prepared.”

The Belles of St Trinian’s begins with a wealthy Arab sheik (Eric Pohlmann) deciding to send his precious daughter, Princess Fatima (Lorna Henderson) to a proper British boarding school, and the Princess’s current governess, dressed in modest tweeds, suggests sending the Princess to St Trinian’s–a school run by a former chum. The Sheik, blissfully unaware of the school’s awful reputation but impressed with the school’s proximity to the racetrack, agrees and little Fatima embarks for the boarding school.

Meanwhile back in England, it’s the start of a new school year with the return of the girls. Pandemonium reigns at the train station and locals who live in the nearby village board up their shop windows when news breaks of the girls’ imminent arrival. From the local police constabulary all the way to the Ministry of Education, St Trinian’s school is perceived as a blot on the British educational system. Indeed Superintendent Samuel ‘Sammy’ Kemp-Bird (Lloyd Lamble) would love to shut the place down, and Manton Bassett (Richard Wattis) at the Ministry of Education has sent a number of inspectors to the school, but attempts to reign in this out-of-control school for delinquents has led to the mysterious disappearance of several school inspectors, and the subsequent formation of a club known as ‘The Lotus Eaters’ in the school’s greenhouse. So the region suffers from an unchecked crime wave involving: “arson, forged fivers, poison pen letters.” Bassett and the police superintendent join forces and decide to send policewoman Ruby Gates (Joyce Grenfell) undercover into the school posing as games mistress, Chloe Crawley (she rapidly becomes known as Creepy Crawley).

St. Trinian’s is beleaguered by financial problems, and the headmistress, Miss Fritton, has been forced to pawn the school trophies, so it is with delight that the teachers and headmistress receive the wealthy Princess Fatima and her allowance of one hundred pounds. Clarence, Miss Fritton’s evil twin brother is an avid gambler, and he is also delighted that Fatima is attending the school. He intends–along with his daughter (another St Trinian’s pupil)–to nobble the Sheik’s horse, Arab Boy in the upcoming races and thereby win a bundle. To complicate matters, Miss Fritton also bets on Arab Boy to win.

Things turn ugly when the fourth form (who put aside their gin-making temporarily) battle against the sixth form, and it’s every man for himself on Parent’s Day when war wages between the besieged fourth formers and the aggressive sixth. Fortunately, a bus full of ‘old girls’ comes to the rescue armed with Zulu spears and shields.

Alastair Sim doubles for both the delightfully distracted Miss Fritton and her twin brother, the conniving Clarence. Miss Fritton has a marvelous way of ignoring the unpleasant aspects of the girls’ behaviour, chalking it up to ‘high spirits,’ and she positively encourages the St Trinian’s girls in their violent behavior during the hockey match. Joyce Grenfell is extremely funny as the besotted, long-suffering, lovelorn police woman Ruby Gates–persuaded against her better judgment to operate undercover as Creepy Crawlie, St Trinian’s Games Mistress. And George Cole is marvelous as Flash Harry–the odd character who haunts the bushes of St Trinian’s–and who imagines that he is the soul of discretion. I think he’s my favourite character in the entire film.

Keep your eyes open for comediennes Beryl Reid (Miss Wilson), Irene Handl (Miss Gale), and Joan Sims (Miss Dawn). Sid James also stars as Clarence’s side kick, Benny, and very young Barbara Windsor and Shirley Eaton appear as St Trinian’s girls. Directed by Frank Launder and with the script co-written by Sidney Gilliat and Frank Launder.

Crooks in Cloisters (1964)

“She never knew chips came from taters till she read a book on it.”

“I like being a monk. It’s good for me nerves.”

“Just being caught with one of them bulbs in his cottage, an old fisherman could get about 18 months in the nick.”

The DVD cover of the 1964 film Crooks in Cloisters boasts that the film tops the Carry On Series. Well … no. Crooks in Cloisters may hold its own against some of the Carry On series, let’s say Carry On Emmannuelle, but we Carry-On fans tend to think of those unforgettable titles: Carry On Matron, Carry On Camping, Carry On Up The Khyber (add your favourite) when we recall films from the Carry-On series.

From director Jeremy Summers, Crooks in Cloisters is a pleasant little comedy film that happens to star some of the Carry-On regulars. There are not a lot of laughs here, but there is a great deal of the nostalgia crowd.

After a train robbery, a notorious gang hides out in a monastery on a tiny island off the coast of Cornwall. With Inspector Mungo (Alister Williamson) in pursuit on the mainland, gang leader Little Walter (Ronald Fraser) buys the island and tells the gang members to dress and act like monks. The plan is to stay on the island long enough for the heat to cool down and then they will return to their lives of crime.

The film has its moments and these mainly occur when outsiders come to visit the monastery. In one segment of the film, crafty local Phineas (played marvelously by Wilfred Brambell of fame) transports over a rowboat of snotty tourists. And on another occasion two real monks arrive. While gang leader Walt has the audacity to tell gang member Specs (Davy Kaye) to keep his mouth shut because he’ll give the game away, Walt’s cockney slang causes the real monks to raise their eyebrows a bit, and these scenes are really amusing.

But apart from that we get to see Bikini (Barbara Windsor) in a monk’s habit dancing the twist and taking a bubble bath, and comedian Bernard Cribbins plays gang member Squirts–a man who becomes touchingly devoted to the goat. Most of the films humour is situational–it’s supposed to be naturally funny to see these crooks donning monks’ habits, minding goats and tending the monastery garden. And there are a few salient points here: as one gang member notes, the austerity of the monks’ cells are uncannily similar to jail cells (“Just like the nick.”) There’s also a sweet romance between Phineas’s granddaughter, June (a very young Francesca Annis) and crook/poet Willy (Melvyn Hayes). The underlying irony however is that these harden criminals eventually take to the monastic lifestyle with gusto, and of course that raises social and moral questions that this comedy film does not address. In one scene, the crooks voice their collective opinion regarding their preference of the monastic life to Little Walt, and he sets them straight with a speech loaded with social and class implications, and this is the film’s soberest scene.

Spanish Fly (1976)

 “Gin and Tonic is the cornerstone of the British Empire”

As a fan of both Terry-Thomas and Leslie Phillips, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch the British comedy film Spanish Fly; sadly the film is tired rather than funny–in spite of the talents of these two great British comedians and a plot should have yielded a few laughs.

On the beautiful island of Minorca, scallywag Sir Percy de Courcy (Terry-Thomas) finds himself once again penniless. Since the disreputable Sir Percy isn’t exactly willing to work for a living, this means he must concoct some sort of scam to maintain his luxurious lifestyle–which includes a splendid mansion and a number of servants. Sir Percy has a habit of making horrible business decisions, and when he buys thousands of bottles of local wine, his chauffeur, Perkins (Graham Armitage) predicts that this is will be yet another financial disaster.

One sip of the wine, and Perkins is proved correct. The stuff takes like “cat’s piss,” and Sir Percy’s plan to stick a French label on the wine and sell it for a tasty profit seems doomed. But then Sir Percy instructs Perkins to doctor the wine and make it less revolting. Perkins accidentally turns the poor tasting wine into an aphrodisiac and Sir Percy seems destined for wealth and fame.

Of course, since Spanish Fly, from director Bob Kellett is a sex comedy, it seems a perfect twist of the plot when Sir Percy’s old school chum, Mike Scott (Leslie Phillips) arrives–along with a photographer and several gorgeous models. Mike’s wife designs underwear (“for girls to put on and men to take off”), and Mike travels to Minorca for a photo shoot with the bevy of foreign lovelies to model the undies. Meanwhile Mike’s naggy domineering wife, Janet (Sue Lloyd) isn’t a bit worried that her husband will stray–after all he’s safely impotent.

Even the talents of the wily Terry-Thomas and the suave Leslie Phillips can’t pull this film out from mediocrity. Some of the film’s fault is to be found in its sheer clumsiness–the stupidity of the locals for example. Plus the film seems to throw away valuable screen time by spending it on far too-long stretched out scenes of children gathering ingredients for the wine and endless scenes of models twirling in the underwear. There are a couple of topless scenes, but the laughs are, unfortunately, few and far between.

Spanish Fly came at the end of Terry-Thomas’s career. Diagnosed in 1971 with Parkinson’s Disease, he retired in 1977, while the elegant Leslie Phillips continues to contribute to the screen.

Priceless (2006)

 “It seems a man like you can’t be bought, even by me.”

In Priceless (Hors de Prix) Irene (Audrey Tatou) is a svelte gold digger who haunts the playgrounds of the stinking rich looking for her next victim. Irene gets herself picked up by solitary, wealthy men, and then she milks the new relationship for all it’s worth before she moves on and latches onto the next sucker. One night she spies Jean (Gad Elmaleh) a waiter in the swanky hotel bar. She mistakes Jean for a wealthy millionaire, and he doesn’t bother to correct her mistake.

Fast forward to another encounter, and Irene and Jean find themselves in hot water. Irene reverts to her profession of choice, and Jean, well Jean picks up some lessons along the way.

Priceless, with its 30s madcap comedy feel, is from director Pierre Salvadori, and it’s a much more polished film than his earlier comedy, Apres Vous, a film that never quite managed to maintain the laughs–in spite of the talents of seasoned actor Daniel Auteuil. Priceless is…well, priceless, slick while seemingly almost guileless, this highly polished film manages to pass off some very awkward moments delightfully.

Irene is essentially a hooker, picking up customers and bleeding them for hotel stays, clothes and expensive jewelry. The film doesn’t tackle the idea of sexual favours traded for stuff  head-on, but neither is the story a preposterous Cinderella tale (the very silly Pretty Woman springs to mind). While Priceless glosses over the seedier aspects of Irene’s manipulative ways, nonetheless the plot does address the sex-for-hire aspect–lightly and with humor. Plus a few plot surprises keep us guessing, and ultimately the plot works. Jean finds himself broke and homeless, and once he’s in this vulnerable position, he finds out first hand how it feels to be Irene. It would have been a horrible mistake for the film to emphasize this point and create a heavy moral point in the middle of the laughs, but instead the plot makes its point and then continues on. The next point the film makes is that the lifestyles of the rich and famous can be addictive….

Wealthy socialite Madeleine (Marie-Christine Adam) is a marvelous addition to the film, and when she enters the picture, the comedy ramps up a notch. Jean and Irene are ultimately people who do some sleazy things to maintain their lifestyles, but the film never once dips into that sleaze. Yet at the same time it’s not too sticky sweet, and this is achieved partly through meeting the ‘victims’ who are played here as not very nice people who know what they want and are perfectly willing to pay for it.

Tatou is an actress who has been criminally underutilized and it’s great to see her here, showing her claws and playing a whole range of emotions as she steps away from the ingénue role. If you like frothy French romantic comedy, well it doesn’t get much better than this. Highly recommended

Boudu (2005)

“She’s so hot to trot, 10 fire engines couldn’t stop her.”

Fans of French actor Gerard Depardieu should enjoy the light-hearted French comedy, Boudu. In the film, directed by Gerard Jugnot, Depardieu plays hobo Boudu–a homeless man so depressed by the death of his dog that he attempts suicide. Art gallery owner Christian (played by the director) reluctantly saves Boudu.

Christian wants to impress employee and potential mistress Coralie (Constance Dolle), and so stuck with the half-drowned hobo, Christian drags Boudu home. At first this is supposed to be a temporary arrangement, but once Boudu settles in with Christian and his neurotic wife Yseult (Catherine Frot), he doesn’t want to leave.

This film is a remake of the 1932 version Boudu Saved From Drowning, and others may recognize the plot from Down and Out in Beverly Hills. This updated version of Boudu is cruder with an emphasis on Boudu’s bad manners and sexual antics. Inevitably, the hedonistic Boudu acts as a catalyst in Christian and Yseult’s household.

Catherine Frot is a marvelous French comedienne, and the role of Yseult is perfect for the multi-talented Frot. Here as Yseult, she’s a neurotic, alcoholic, pill-popping middle-aged woman who lives in a medicated haze and expresses her unhappiness through her largely fictional medical problems. While her husband frantically tries to put out fires in order to not upset his wife’s nerves, their marriage is based on avoiding any confrontations and harsh truths. Boudu stops all this nonsense of course.

Depardieu is in top form and while he subdues his intellect for the role, he fills the part with his terrible manners and refusal to fit into societal norms. Some of these scenes are just hilarious, and I get the feeling that Depardieu had fun making this film.

Some great lines:

“I only want to kiss you, not to poke you.”

“I bet she unbends your banana.”

“When my guts go to war, it’s Hiroshima.”

“Good food lifts my tits.”

Anarchy TV (1998)

“I’m sick of paying taxes so you can sit around and play counterculture.”

The comedy film Anarchy TV directed by Jonathan Blank pits five anarchists and a prostitute against a religious wanker in a struggle for Public Access TV.

When the film begins a group of five anarchists manage their own Public Access channel called Anarchy TV, lampooning religion and government with a series of parody advertisements and programmes. For example, the programming includes a parody version of Jeopardy. One of the questions to pick from is “Conspiracy Theories” and the game show prize is to collect as many Prozac pills as possible.

The five anarchists are:
Natalie (Jessica Hecht), the daughter of a hypocritical and sinister TV evangelist
Jerry (Jonathan Penner), Natalie’s lover
Frank (Matt Winston) techno-phile and conspiracy theorist
Katie (Moon Unit Zappa), the most serious of the bunch
Sid (Dweezil Zappa)

Outraged by the content of Anarchy TV and to ‘protect’ public morals, Natalie’s father, the corrupt Reverend Wright (Alan Thicke), buys the station, disowns Natalie and turfs the anarchists out of the building. The anarchist group attempts traditional, legal methods of protest and end up in jail for their efforts. In jail they meet bubbly prostitute Tiffany (Tamayo Otsuki). Entranced with the anarchist message, she joins the group.

 
After the failure of legal protest, the group decides to move to Direct Action. Storming the station, they take a newscaster hostage and begin broadcasting their message on “God’s Station” on the “Christian Unity Network.” Mink Stole appears in a small role as Stephanie’s employer: (“schoolteachers can’t appear in a nudie carnival.”)

The anarchists look like a bunch of yuppies for the most part. Tiffany ends up being the most radical of the group in many ways, but that’s mainly because she’s a strong character and not afraid to take her clothes off: “Hi, I’m Tiffany. I’m here with the cast of Anarchy TV. We all met in jail. It was my 8th bust for solicitation. Prostitution is illegal. I thought this was a capitalist country. If some horny bastard wants to pay me 100 bucks to jack off all over my face who the hell is the government to interfere in my business.”

Tiffany’s actions on Anarchy TV put her into direct conflict with Katie, but her tactics also gain an interested audience. It’s a sad yet bitterly funny comment on society that nudity is one of the few things that can wake people from their stupor.

Since this is a comedy, there isn’t too much serious here, but the film illustrates the powerful and toxic power relationships between established institutions. Anarchy TV’s broadcasted parodies manage to be accurate and bitingly funny at the same time. One of Reverend Wright’s religious programmes is “Countdown to Armageddon” with the “top 7 deadly signs that the world is coming to an end.” One of those 7 signs is that “sodomites are given equal rights as citizens.” When Anarchy TV takes over and starts broadcasting parody programming, some of the audience can’t even tell the difference. Plus the film also shows Anarchy TV’s audience reaction–and this ranges from sloth to outrage.

Most of the anarchists’ message unfortunately seems to congeal around the rhetoric of democracy and liberty–although one scene shows Katie smashing a vending machine and after gauging the disapproval of the group, she states “Property is Theft”–a phrase that seems to be thrown in for authenticity. Ultimately Anarchy TV  isn’t about anarchy at all; it’s more about the Bill of Rights and the erosion of the U.S. Constitution. The film’s subtext, however, is that our television sets transmit meaningless rubbish, conditioning us into herd behaviour, fear and complacency. And I can’t argue with that.