Take Me (2001)

 Take Me is a six part, made-for-British television thriller starring Robson Green as cutthroat businessman Jack. When the film begins Jack and his attractive wife, Kay (Beth Goddard) are house hunting and fall in love with a brand-new home in a swanky suburb. Waving their city friends goodbye, Jack, Kay and their two children move into their grand new home.

take-meIt’s not long before we realise that the new home is a feeble attempt to revive a troubled marriage. Kay, it seems has had an affair with Jack’s best friend and work colleague, and while Kay has promised to now behave, the new home is supposed to represent a fresh start.

But Jack and Kay picked the wrong neighbourhood….

The boxes are barely unpacked when Jack and Kay are invited to a neighbourhood party. Upon arrival, someone greets Jack with a container full of car keys, and Jack is asked if he’d like to make an offering. Jack may be a cutthroat businessman, but he’s a straight arrow, and it takes him a while to catch on to the fact that he and Kay have stumbled into a nest of wife swappers.

One of the biggest problems with the film is that it’s just too long. Things didn’t really get peculiar until episode three, and in the meantime there’s wife swapping galore. And some of this gets just plain silly. Kay’s sister and her hubbie, for example, are part of the wife swapping set. It doesn’t take Einstein to guess that these parties–based on opportunities for sex and games that involve sex will become awfully difficult if they involve your sister and brother-in-law. And that’s not even mentioning the neighbourhood psycho. Add sex tapes, a distinct lack of common sense, and a lack of contraceptives and you have a lurid Peyton Place sort of scenario complete with characters who can’t see trouble until it hits them upside the head.

Robson Green delivers a credible performance, but he’s still hampered by a script that makes little sense. The blame-game scenes between Jack and Kay were simply laughable. How can these two harp on about saving their marriage when they are ditching their kids and hopping into the sack with all and sundry? They certainly didn’t convince me that they wanted to ‘save’ their marriage, and personally I think they just stayed married so they could keep getting invited to those damn parties.

Take Me also includes some silly, meaningless subplots that could so easily been trimmed–Jack’s father and his silly letters, for example. This made for a painful 300 minutes, and while I kept expecting this to get better, it didn’t

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